A NEW GARB TO DIVINITY

Divinity, when it comes, comes in a big package!! At least that is what it seems from the recent goings on in my country. After all that bad could happen...the bomb blasts, the reservation drama, the RTI dilution and the office of profit bill…its now the turn of the the divine to let loose their charisma on the poor earthlings, and what better place that Good old INDIA?? So...the gods decided to arrive, en bloc, in a full fledged tamasha…at least thats what it seems after watching the headlines the past weekend.

First came the news of the MAHIM waters turning sweet. Bombay danced to the tune of the divine, and mumbaikars of all hues flocked at the Mahim shores to get a taste of the divine waters. The deed was said to be the effect of the powers of some pir baba, whose dargaah stands beside the beach. Agreed, he was a great man, full of divinity, but why on earth would the pir show his divinity by turning the sea water sweet?? That is what i fail to digest...

The sight of the mumbai masses greedily drinking up the copious liquid...the sea water that is…makes one wonder at the ignorance and stubbornness of my people. The repeated warnings and appeals by the civic and medical authorities fell in deaf ears, and only caused the masses get angry at such a blatant insult at the pir. People vouched for media bytes...drinking up litres of water for the television cameras. One great personality had the guts to even shout out loud that the waters had it in them to cure any conceivable disease, be it cancer or AIDS..or for that matter..common cold.

Now it really remains to be seen whether the water cured these diseases..or the greatdevotees just landed up in hospital beds with diarrhoea and jaundice!!!

Moving on, the next day gave a new definition to divine presence…GODs drinking milk!! Gods set on mission operation flood...guzzling up millions of litres of milk..at the cost of millions of mere mortals that throng this great country. The drinking spree that the gods have set on seems to have no end in sight, and my countrymen will leave no stone unturned in supplying milk to the thirsty gods. Gods in Delhi alone consumed a mind boggling 1 million litres of milk in 1 day....and the amount guzzled up in the rest of the country can only be left to the imagination. A lady even had the audacity to conclude that this was a proof given by the gods that they do exist. What kind of a GOD needs to give a proof of existence, and that too of such kind??? The situation and the madness went so much out of hand that even some temple priests appreciated the fact that it would be much more pleasing for the GODs if this milk would have come to the use of the teeming millions of starving Indian children. But alas, we, as a people, would treat the gods to something nobody knows if they want or not, but turn a blind eye to the needs of our poor brethren.

I might sound like the leader of the atheist community of India in the lines above, but let me assure you I am not!! I am as much a believer in the Almighty as any body else is...just that I do NOT think that this mass hysteria is doing any good to my nation. A lot of you might not agree to my view, and I am really apologetic if I have hurt anybody's feelings, but that is what my conscience said to me, and I believe, THE GODS(conscience) NEVER LIE!!!

“Do Indians value NRI achievers more than homegrown successes?”

Says who?? Indians in any field, resident Indian or NRIs, be it in sports, IT, Literature, Industry or politics, have always emanated the same kind of response from the ever vigilant Indian media and the ever hopeful Indian masses. Sachin Tendulkar is in no way valued less than Chanderpaul, nor is Tagore considered in any way lower to Rushdie. The fact is that the world always tends to categorize success into degrees, and it is generally true that NRIs achieve greater success due to greater exposure, and better facilities.

However, Indians have a tendency to stake claim to anybody of Indian origin, that makes it look as if foreigners (of Indian origin), and NRIs, are valued more than the poor achievers back home. Be it Dhorashu of the French soccer team, or V.S.Naipaul of the literary fame, Indians have always vouched for them as their own, though they themselves may not think so.

In case of Mittal, the adulation is beyond doubt justified by the position he has earned for himself, and the magnitude of Arcelor-Mittal Empire. Let the TATAs do the same, and we shall all give them a standing ovation too!!!

MY TRYST WITH MURPHY'S LAW

Among the thousands of theories and laws that the world has seen since its inception, the single most effective law, that every one of us will stand up to in agreement, is the one and only Murphy’s Law. The popular version of the law is “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong”. I, a strong realist since time immemorial, was forced, rather hacked into acceptance to this law by some recent incident, on a dark and wet July night a few days back!!

The day was long awaited, as my friend Amit was to land at the airport on Saturday, the 1st of July and I was supposed to receive him. We were to meet after a gap of one year, and nostalgic memories of college days were flooding through my mind since the night before. He was to be engaged on the next to next day, and the weekend was going to be one to remember. Alas, it will be remembered for ever!!

The flight was supposed to land at 1:20 AM (yeah... in the night!!), and I started for the airport at 11 PM. Just as I stepped out of my apartment, it began raining, and all the water that had been in the skies for the last 5 years came down on me. I ran into a taxi after getting drenched. He would not budge from his sleep, and shouted me out of his property. No other taxi was prepared to go. Finally, after standing by the muddy roadside, dripping wet and hungry, a noble souled taxi driver came to my help. It would transport me to the airport…for a meager Rs. 450/-, a trip that ordinarily would not have cost me beyond 200 bucks. Anyways, the PUNCTUAL me was available at my master’s (Amit’s) service at 1300 hours. After all, I should have some dedication for my long lost friend, you see. But the ever punctual INDIAN AIRLINES had other plans for the day. The flight was late...by not 1...2...but 2 and a half hours, due to some “MINOR TECHNICAL SNAG”. Humph!!

In the meantime, I had to while away my precious time in the waiting area. So, after having bought a ticket for Rs. 75/-, I took a seat. In the meantime, I was checking the entry ticket to the airport, and it as written “VALID FOR THREE HOURS AFTER ENTRY”. So, after sitting for some time, I went outside for a smoke. Then came the fun part. While re-entering after 5 minutes, the security will not let me in; the reason being that I had gone out once, and that ended the validity of the ticket. The 3 hour validity was for stay inside the airport. Huh!! Thanks to the ever vigilant security, my wallet was lighter by 75 rupees more, as I had to pay for another entry ticket.

Too frightened now to even leave my cozy seat …I spent the next two hours dozing off…periodically waking up to hysterical bouts of madness, and frowning looks from the lady on the nest chair. God knows what she thought…if she had been a bit smarter, she would have gone and told the security to prevent all the drenched beggars (!!) like me from entering the airport. At least that’s what I looked like, after my rendezvous with the rains, and the muddy roadside.

At last, the flight landed, and after a further wait of 45 minutes, the great Amit emerged out, looking great, and absolutely flamboyant. Even his girlfriend, Vandana, was accompanying him on the flight. She was the lady with whom he was to be engaged tomorrow. The expression on Amit’s face, when he saw me, told me what I never wanted to know...how I looked. The look on Vandana’s face…when Amit introduced me to her,was even more disturbing. I lost all my self respect when she innocently told me that she had taken me for a driver!!

Finally, the day( night rather!!) ended, with me and Amit dropping Vandana at her folks home, and the two of us proceeding to my apartment to catch up with a long lost friend…SLEEP!! Nightmares were the order of the day for me…and I kept waking up…reminded constantly of the frowning lady’s visage, and of the security guard.

The new day is supposed to bring in new luck. True!! My luck changed too…but for the worse. The next day we got up to a hot good morning. The electricity had gone off, owing to the rain and winds the night before. It was already noon by the time we woke up, and the rains outside had no signs of ending their harassment on us muggles. The shouts from Amit was cause of me waking up…he was shouting from the bathroom. He had soap all over, and the water had gone off. I had to rush ground floor to fetch him two heavy buckets of tube-well water. Another two buckets for my morning ablutions was like salt on the wound. Thus, started my day.

The next thing that came to mind , was of course LUNCH. The maid had bunked her duties that day, owing to the rains. I rushed to the kitchen, two find all of two potatoes playing hide and seek in the vegetable tray of the refrigerator. Nothing else edible, in any form, was in sight. Eating at home was out of question, and the two musketeers, me and poor Amit, set out on my bike for the restaurant near by, braving the rains. The restaurant welcomed us with upturned chairs, and sleeping waiters. It was closed that day!! The next thing we knew, we were frantically looking for a hotel in the locality, just to find all of them closed. It was sankranti, and all the commercial establishments were closed in my locality. The next half hour was spent in coming back home, taking more money, and going to a large hotel for lunch. The wallet was lighter by 700 Indian bucks more. To avoid any more misfortunes, we came back home and went to sleep again…no TV…no ELECTRICITY...no NEWSPAPERS. It was raining outside like it had never before.

We had to go to the market that evening. Amit had to buy his dress for the next day’s function, and a diamond ring for Vandana. We also had to arrange rooms for his relatives, who were supposed to be arriving early the next day. We set out in the rains. My bike was the transport we had, and some showers from the skies would not be stopping us from doing our best for the day after. We set out first on arranging rooms for the relatives.

After wondering around, maybe the whole of the city, we could not find a single hotel which could spare us 4 rooms for a day. Almost everywhere we went, we were met with “NO VACANCY, SIR”, or exorbitant rates. In the midst of all this, suddenly the fuel in my bike vanished, and it stopped dead. The next half hour, I was feeling like a bonded laborer, pushing a 200 kilo bike through the rains, to the nearest filling station. Then, after giving my bike a heavy diet of petrol, we set out on our task again. It was raining so hard now, the raincoats were useless, and riding a bike was like driving a open hooded car on the bed of the pacific. My spectacles had fallen off somewhere and got crushed under an auto sometime before, and I was feeling what u all can be ...now...absolutely HOPELESS. But hey…there was more to come.

Finally, we managed to find a decent hotel and booked the rooms. It was already 9 by the time we accomplished this. We had to rush to the garments store for the engagement paraphernalia. We just managed to barge into one finally. The salesmen were reluctant to let us in, the reason being we were dripping wet, and that we did not look a bit like we would manage to even barter, let alone buy something from a store of that reputation. Anyways, finally we were at the counter with the chosen goods, and about to pay. The cashier smiled at us...and said apologetically...”Sir!! Due to some damage to the lines, we are not accepting credit cards tonight”. It was like a bolt of lightning striking us head on...WE HAD NO CASH. Leaving Amit at the store, I had to rush in the rains to the ATM nearby. Finally, the poor fellows, the two of us, were back in the rains on a measly bike, loaded with a whole lot of garments and a diamond ring for the bride. It was 11.30 in the night by then.

It was then that we felt the pangs of hunger. We had no moolah left on us to go to a hotel, and so decide to go to a fast food outlet nearby. When we reached there, we were informed that all food was over. The water on the streets by then, was more than knee height. We took some eggs from the vendor, and set out home. At least we could go back home and have some omelets. It was then that maybe my bike could not take it any more, and decided to stop dead in the midst of the road. Any amount of coaxing or cursing proved futile to make it start. We had no option but to throw away the eggs, and enter a 4 star hotel nearby...for our food and shelter nearby. The time was 12, and home was 16 kms away, and there was no transport in sight at that hour in that weather. Going to the moon would have been easier.

After having our food and paying the money (thank god, at least the credit cards worked here!!), we tried our luck with the bike again, It was as dead as a dodo. We then decided to take a room and stay there for the night, though it would be costly. The next thing we knew, we were at the reception asking for a double room for the night. The beautiful lady there gave us a practiced smile (maybe pitiful!!), and told us that a room would be available at our service for just Rs. 5000 only. This time it was a hundred bolts of lightning that had struck us. The speed with which we scooted from the reception will put even Carl Lewis to shame. The bike kept outside the hotel, and having given a princely sum of Rs. 20 to the guard at the entrance, to keep a watch on the bike, we started for the station, so that we could get an auto to go home and end the day. It took us twenty minutes of fitful walking in the lashing rains, to reach an auto. It was his day, so he charged us around 300 bucks for a distance of 15 kms, and we tamely agreed, not wishing to give our luck any more chance to pound us. We reached home, and the first thing I realized was that the keys had fallen off somewhere. We woke up my neighbor to ask for a hammer to break the lock, and though he gave us a smile and a hammer, we could still hear the curses that were emanating from behind the closed doors, once he had closed it. We finally entered, after creating a din enough to have woken up the entire building. Then the next blow…ELECTRICITY was back in all the apartments, but mine. We had neither the energy, nor the desire to fight our darned luck any more. We tamely gave in, and went to sleep. Washing ourselves was out of question, as that would mean running 3 floors below to get some more buckets of water. The day had started with a blow on the head, and ended with the feeling of wanting to get blown off by cannon.


If somebody can give me a better example of Murphy’s Law coming true, I promise to pay him all my bank balance. If not, let my name appear on the records as the best specimen to ever have a law applied on him, and I am the uncrowned king in the annals of the history of this universal law. Everything that could have gone wrong, had gone haywire with me for the past 36 hours, and I am still here, live and kicking. Kudos to me…Kudos to the great Murphy!! And for those of you who would like to know about the next day, do call me up sometime. That was an entirely different story altogether. And I bet…you shall enjoy knowing about that too!!

THE SPIRIT OF MUMBAI

The recent tragic happenings in Mumbai have left a gaping hole in the heart of India’s financial capital, as well as in the soul of every self respecting INDIAN. The failure of the Police, the Intelligence, and the government in providing information, let alone security, about these activities is in itself a mirror on the wall that shows “who is the dirtiest of them all”. The huge impact and the magnitude of the blasts leave a lot of questions to be asked to the authorities. Something of this magnitude must not have cropped up overnight. It must have taken months of meticulous planning, and of ultra secure communications among the suspected hands to achieve their aim. It is a real shame that the watchdogs in the government and the so called INTELLIGENCE failed to even sniff a whiff of the same. And now, after 200 fatalities and 400 injuries, and a billion scarred souls, the authorities have the guts to come out in the open and say “THE RESPONSIBLE WILL NOT BE SPARED”!! What a shame!!

However, the crux of my writing this is neither to highlight the shortcomings of the authorities, nor to draw a bleak picture of the value of life in my country. My sole purpose is to showcase the divine sense of camaraderie, Good Samaritan spirit, and the deep rooted sense of responsibility that lies in each and every INDIAN. The ultimate courage and defiance shown by the public of MUMBAI is an eye opener to all the harbingers of doom, who say that INDIA, with all its poverty, illiteracy, corruption and similar tie-downs can not march on the road to the pinnacle of development. My country is ever on the road, marching ahead with the same pace as others, if not faster…its driving force…ITS PEOPLE AND THEIR VALUES.

The illustrative bytes on national television of the common men in Mumbai coming out in full support of their aggrieved brethren, bring in a sense of satisfaction and solemn affirmation of the virtues that our country stands on. The pictures tell me that all is not lost and that we, the people of India have it in us to rise up from the ashes as the eternal phoenix. Every time somebody tries to stamp us down, we rise with doubled spirits, and a desire to overcome all that keeps us bound. The scenes of poor Mumbaikars roaming the roads with all that they have for food to distribute among the stranded, the sight of an old Muslim gentleman moving from one hospital to another distributing cups of tea to the relatives of the aggrieved, the tales of students throwing open the doors of their hostels and dorms to the people who couldn’t go home due to the traffic rush in the blast aftermath…all but make me conjure up the image of what UTOPIA would be like. We may not have the money, we may not have the resources, we may not have the leaders, but we have what it takes to be a true human being…respect for ones country and countrymen!!

Every dark cloud has its silver lining, and for me, the golden lining in this dastardly and cowardly act by the terrorists is the emergence of the true spirit of Mumbai. The never say die attitude of the common man, the courage to travel in local trains even after seven blasts the day before, tears in the eyes of complete strangers when they talk about a deceased or injured, the help that flows in as soon as it is required irrespective race, religion caste or creed…all of this inspires one and all to stand up in unison and declare in one voice our solemn affirmation of undying spirit of MUMBAI. Let the powers that be hear the voice and let the evil lords take note that we INDIANS are not going to take it down lying. We can hit back, and when we do…WE HIT HARD. Lets all stand together in this hour of need , along with the people of Mumbai, and tell in one voice MEE MUMBAIKAR(I am a Mumbaikar!!).